Posted on:Dec 04 2020
As it turns out, this pandemic has given me new appreciation for my age.
I’m in a position to mostly retreat from the world and revamp most of my usual daily drivers without a massive disruption. The things that made up my life pre-pandemic have either been postponed or erased or moved to Zoom or I’m choosing not to do them because it’s not worth the risk.
Being at the mercy of this invisible external factor has provided, more like forced, an opportunity to take a close look inward, to reassess and reprioritize.
I mask up when I go to the grocery store and run other essential errands. I’ve stopped going to my favorite yoga studio and do all forms of exercise at home or outside. If I want a break from cooking, it’s take-out rather than dine-out. Aside from volunteering and meetings, the things that comprise my semi-retired work life are done from home anyway.
So after all these months of constraints, and in assessing my daily pandemic-induced workarounds, sure, there are inconveniences and some things I really miss, but there are some real advantages to being older during this time - it’s a disruptor, but it could be a much bigger disruptor.
For example, I don’t have to worry about how being laid off would up-end my life, or how I’d protect myself from contagion in a crowded workplace.
I’m not a classroom teacher and single mom, striving to be patient with my sons, helping them with remote learning and homework, trying to keep spirits up, hoping to fix a nutritious dinner while exhausted from a day of Zoom teaching. Clean house? Laundry done? Time for self-care? Yeah, right.
I’m not a recent college grad living back at home after post-graduation plans evaporated, working a job for which I’m over-qualified because hiring is topsy-turvied, feeling reluctant to make big committed moves when there’s so much uncertainty.
I’m not a college student faced with the choice of taking all classes online or a gap year.
I’m not in high school and unable to play sports because they’ve all been cancelled.
You get the idea.
While I won’t deny a healthy dose of good fortune, there’s something else at work here that’s keeping me less stressed than those of younger generations. It's my orbits around the sun.
When I look back over my 5.7 decades, I’m reminded that I’ve lived through tough times before, and I know I’ll get through this tough time too, one way or another, taking smart precautions, with a dose of luck, hopefully still wearing the same size jeans !
I’m also lucky to have my mom’s example - she’s like the energizer bunny and just keeps going with her positivity. She has survived heart-breaking, core-rattling “lifequakes”...her life has taught her about perspective and keeping things in right proportion. Making pandemic adjustments is just something you do to get through it.
Plus, if we’re lucky enough to make it to our silver and golden years, our life has probably taught us that we can experience happiness and sadness at the same time, and be more accepting of the sadness.
Further, shorter future time horizons help us better savor the good times.
Generally, as we get older, we have better emotional experiences and we manage our emotions better. Risks to health, uncertainties about contagion, and restricted social contacts are very real right now, but research shows that advanced mile-age also means less frequent and less intense periods of anxiety, anger, stress, and boredom than younger people.
How would I be handling this pandemic if I was decades younger? It’s an interesting thought exercise...I can envision some panic around my linear life plan flying apart...
When I listen to my sons, though, I do hear a form of optimism - maybe it’s a blend of acceptance and determination - in their line of thinking. Because this is a pandemic, which means it’s happening to everyone, they’ve figured out that complaining or feeling personally inconvenienced or whatever would be absurd. Instead, they’re learning way younger than I did a big lesson about embracing Plan B, about life oscillating rather than being a linear ascension, about how to ride through uncertain times, about good luck and gratitude.
We’re all going to look back at this historic pandemic and have our stories. For every young person who looks for and grabs on to silver linings, who figures out how to use this disruptive pandemic as a springboard, who sorts through all the crazy emotion and is able to laser-focus and strengthen their constellation of healthy ones (like patience, determination, flexibility, resilience), well, I'm cheering for you.
I'm also more than happy to listen as you think your way to Plan B. 😉
